You’re Not the Top ‘Swiftie’, These Senators Are


Taylor Swift / Amy Klobuchar / Sarah Morris / FilmMagic / Jerod Harris / Getty Images for Vox Media

You may know the occasional Taylor Swift line, but would you be willing to take it to the Senate? Just ask these senators who quoted the Midnights star’s song lyrics on Tuesday the 24th of January at the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing. To say they were well-versed in the pop star’s discography would be an understatement!

The hearing investigated how the “staggering demand” for Swift’s upcoming tour was able to crash Ticketmaster’s site in November 2022 by overwhelming the website’s capacity. The Senate was examining claims that Live Nation and its subsidiary, Ticketmaster, have a monopolistic control over the ticket sales in the United States. Senators also looked at how this authority affected consumers seeking to buy concert tickets, which inevitably sparked a public uproar among Swifties.

The fact of the matter is the 800-pound gorilla here,” Sen. Richard Blumenthal said. “This whole concert ticket system is a mess, a monopolistic mess.

We know that the American game show “Are You Smarter than 5th Grader?” was a success, but if someone were to create “Are You More of a ‘Swiftie’ than these Senators?”, I am sure that the senators would prove themselves worthy of the Swiftie title. 

The senators hinted at Ms Swift’s most iconic lines from “You Belong With Me”, “Black Space”,“Karma”, and even “All Too Well”. It is hard to deny the fact that the smooth puns which played out in the Senate were well executed. 

Ticketmaster oughta look in the mirror and say, I’m the problem. It’s me,” said Senator Richard Blumenthal, a nod to the hit song “Anti-Hero”. I can even hear the faint allusion to “mirrorball” from Taylor’s album “folklore”, and although the tone and context in which it was used is quite a contrast to the melancholy feel of the album, I think it still deserves the points. 

I think it’s a nightmare dressed like a daydream,” said Senator Mike Lee in a well executed reference to the song “Blank Space”, to say the least.

With Senator [Amy] Klobuchar as chair — to be honest, I had hoped as of a few months ago, to get the gavel back, but once again she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers,” said Senator Mike Lee, whilst referring to the song “You Belong With Me”.                          

I have to throw out — in deference to my daughter Eliza – one more Taylor Swift quote: Karma’s a relaxing thought, aren’t you envious that for you it’s not? That’s all I’ve got to say,” said Senator Mike Lee whilst mentioning lyrics from the most rebellious song of the Midnights album, “Karma”.

You can’t have too much consolidation, something that unfortunately for this country, as an ode to Taylor Swift, I will say we know ‘All Too Well,” stated Senator Amy Klobuchar, a nod to what some would call the national anthem of Swifties, “All Too Well”.

Regardless of the outcome of the hearing, Swifties were quick to call out the ‘gen-z feel’ execution of the puns, with one Twitter fan writing “Senate staff briefing their 80-year-old boss on their best Taylor Swift pun”, whilst showing a photo of a woman helping an elderly woman walk on the street. Another Twitter user highlighted the ‘unification of the Senate’ by stating “not Taylor Swift uniting the United States senate.

Ultimately, the hearing for the chaotic Ticketmaster crash of 2022 concluded with a statement by Joe Berchtold, the president and CFO of Live Nation Entertainment:  “We apologize to the fans. We apologize to Ms Swift.” 

Thereafter, Taylor Swift announced that she was able to go on tour again, which left many fans in a ‘Lavender Haze’. 

Speaking of which, the highly anticipated music video for Lavender Haze has now dropped, so I am sure the Swifties are not in anymore bad blood!

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